Last week I wrote a post titled Do We Nurture or Build Relationships? I was trying to distinguish between nurture and build as concepts, and I think I was pretty successful. The wise commenters talked about building relationships and then nurturing them once formed. They are of course, correct AND their comments reminded me of an important lesson.
And is more powerful than or.
As leaders when we think in terms of and, we are more inclusive of ideas, we engage people more fully and we can help them develop and grow.
There are times when or is necessary and valuable. When it is clear that there are two options and one must be chosen, or highlighted. My post is an example.
While I wasn’t specifically trying to get people to exclusively choose “nurture” in my post (I was trying to distinguish between them), or tends to imply a choice. If we speak in or and don’t mean to choose, we must be careful!
Perhaps more importantly if you say or because we DO want to choose, we may be leaving out the best option, which may be doing both, or parts of both, or simply starting with one before doing both. The next time you hear yourself saying or, ask yourself; why must we choose? Have you considered doing both?
This is a hint at the power of AND.
I could give you many examples, and perhaps in the future I will. 🙂
But for today, I’ll just leave you with the title of our Remarkable TV event next Tuesday, March 16. Coach AND Be Coached.
As leaders, we should not choose, we must do both. And on this event I will probe and ask each of more than 10 guests about BOTH. Not or; and.
I hope you will choose to register and join me next week.