Comments on: Why Willie Nelson Holds the Key to Interpersonal Relationships http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/why-willie-nelson-holds-the-key-to-interpersonal-relationships/ Insights on leadership and learning by Kevin Eikenberry Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:16:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kevin Eikenberry http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/why-willie-nelson-holds-the-key-to-interpersonal-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-623 Kevin Eikenberry Thu, 01 Jul 2010 08:38:02 +0000 http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/?p=1656#comment-623 Thanks for your coments Sarah - the idea of stepping back, to repersonalize a situation is a good one and as you said connects to my idea of remembering that it more about difference than "rightness". I'm sure my family sometimes wishes I did a better job of taking my own advice. Kevin :) Thanks for your coments Sarah – the idea of stepping back, to repersonalize a situation is a good one and as you said connects to my idea of remembering that it more about difference than “rightness”. I’m sure my family sometimes wishes I did a better job of taking my own advice.

Kevin :)

]]> By: Dr Sarah Morris http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/why-willie-nelson-holds-the-key-to-interpersonal-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-622 Dr Sarah Morris Thu, 01 Jul 2010 06:54:48 +0000 http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/?p=1656#comment-622 This is such an important point; to accept that 'different' does not equal 'wrong'. Of course, we are all so caught up in our own 'map of the world ' (to use an NLP term') that most folk I work with are not consciously aware of just how differently other people see the world - different beliefs, different values etc. An greater awareness of this siple truth helps. I also think that it is useful to bear in mind when we are experiencing challenging or difficult situations with others that very often their 'negative' reaction is because you have inadvertantly tripped over some of their own 'baggage'. So, for expample, the fact that someone responds in a negative way to you, may be because you subconsciusly remind them of someone in their earlier life that bullied or dominated them (just one expample of an infinite number of possibilities). So, I find it useful with myself and my clients not to take things so personally. This doesn't mean not caring. It just means giving yourself the opportunity to stand back, above the situation and identify what is the other person's pain. If we can see the pain (and therefore why they are responding in the way they are), we not only can respond more compassionately, but we very often get a better understanding of how to respond and meet that persons needs. This is such an important point; to accept that ‘different’ does not equal ‘wrong’. Of course, we are all so caught up in our own ‘map of the world ‘ (to use an NLP term’) that most folk I work with are not consciously aware of just how differently other people see the world – different beliefs, different values etc. An greater awareness of this siple truth helps.

I also think that it is useful to bear in mind when we are experiencing challenging or difficult situations with others that very often their ‘negative’ reaction is because you have inadvertantly tripped over some of their own ‘baggage’. So, for expample, the fact that someone responds in a negative way to you, may be because you subconsciusly remind them of someone in their earlier life that bullied or dominated them (just one expample of an infinite number of possibilities). So, I find it useful with myself and my clients not to take things so personally. This doesn’t mean not caring. It just means giving yourself the opportunity to stand back, above the situation and identify what is the other person’s pain. If we can see the pain (and therefore why they are responding in the way they are), we not only can respond more compassionately, but we very often get a better understanding of how to respond and meet that persons needs.

]]> By: Kevin Eikenberry http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/why-willie-nelson-holds-the-key-to-interpersonal-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-621 Kevin Eikenberry Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:44:46 +0000 http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/?p=1656#comment-621 Well stated. And you can add replacing "but" with "and" to that list! Kevin :) Well stated. And you can add replacing “but” with “and” to that list!

Kevin :)

]]> By: Barb Mclin http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/why-willie-nelson-holds-the-key-to-interpersonal-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-620 Barb Mclin Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:34:27 +0000 http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/?p=1656#comment-620 I love Willie! This reminds me of a speech I heard a few years ago. The Marion Co Library System had invited Newt Gingrich to speak on Health Care issues. Didn't have time to stay for all of the talk. But, one of the first things he said has stuck with me. He said that if all discussions, negotiations, etc began with "Yes, if, instead of No, because" it would allow for much more productive encounters. A phrase such as Willie's "he's not wrong, he's just different" or "Yes, if, instead of No, because" opens our minds. I love Willie!
This reminds me of a speech I heard a few years ago. The Marion Co Library System had invited Newt Gingrich to speak on Health Care issues. Didn’t have time to stay for all of the talk. But, one of the first things he said has stuck with me.
He said that if all discussions, negotiations, etc began with “Yes, if, instead of No, because” it would allow for much more productive encounters.
A phrase such as Willie’s “he’s not wrong, he’s just different” or “Yes, if, instead of No, because” opens our minds.

]]> By: Bob Dreyer http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/why-willie-nelson-holds-the-key-to-interpersonal-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-617 Bob Dreyer Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:58:32 +0000 http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/?p=1656#comment-617 Kevin, all I can say to this is..............Dat True! Kevin, all I can say to this is…………..Dat True!

]]>